New version of Toledo Talk

    January 12, 2005

What happened to Bush and Kerry? - "Remember when President Bush and John Kerry always used to come over to Ohio? It seemed as if they made a surprise visit to some Ohio town every other day. No matter where their paths take them, they surely won't intersect Ohio any time soon. Why would a little thing such as the end of the election suddenly keep those two sweet guys from stopping by anymore? Sadly, our popularity peaked on the eve of Nov. 2. Once the nation knew what we thought, nobody cared about us anymore. That is, nobody important -- just those adorable little third parties. In short, Ohio is now infested with nerds. Pushy nerds, at that. We're not the apple of the nation's eye, we're Ohio: that boring Midwest state whose topography is flatter than Olive Oyl. All we do is get drunk on the weekends and play Halo 2 while eating pizza."
posted by jr to politics at 9:15 A.M. EST     (6 Comments)

Comments ...

Someone hasn't been down in the southeast part of the state. It's not too flat down there.
posted by Guest at 11:27 A.M. EST on Wed Jan 12, 2005     #

When even more of your industry leaves, the price of a Halo 3 cartridge may be beyond you. And delivered pizza. But even at their poorest, people always seem to have money for alcohol.

Any fool could see that the candidate John-George W. F. Kerrybush * came to Ohio for one and only one thing: to schmooze votes. After that, he'd continue the coastal trend of telling the Midwest to just effin' eff itself. The elite call us the "flyover" ... while they drop their economic bombs on us from 35000 feet, and with as little care as those who drop real bombs from such heights.

We Midwesterners need to stop tithing to the coasts. The Midwest needs to stop sending what little money is has to the coasts. Instead of buying imports (all controlled by ports, which by some spectacular coincidence means the coasts), buy Ohio production; and if not Ohio, then expand the buying to tri-state areas. Give up on the Matrix 4: Extensions and Halo 3, and look at indie films and games from Midwesterners. You have an Internet ... so dig it all up and look.

* John-George W. F. Kerrybush was the dual-person candidate for the only political party that exists today: the American Corporate War Party. In the last 3 election cycles (2000, 2002, 2004), the ACWP won an average of 99% of the votes cast. Why anyone calls America a "democracy" is beyond rational explanation.

posted by Guest at 05:55 P.M. EST on Wed Jan 12, 2005     #

Actually Toledo is a powerhouse of Christian faith of several denominations. Christians don't think Toledo is boring, sorry you do. Boring is not Toledo's problem - the problem is that the good ole boys club that ran Toledo for years when we survived on Detroit's leftovers never had Toledo's future in mind - just their own vainglory and pocketbooks. Now the party's over, thanks largely to the political family that has had a large hand in destroying this nation economically - and Detroit has no leftovers, they're broke too, so we are out of lulck there.

Economic politics are NOT local, they are national, and if individual citizens don't wake up and smell the coffee, they will soon be unable to afford a cup of coffee.

Want to understand why this nation is broke? Subscribe to "almartinraw" (website) or buy his book.

posted by Guest at 02:25 P.M. EST on Sun Jan 16, 2005     #

Is that what you do every weekend, jr? Get drunk and play "Halo2" (whatever that is)? Hmmmmm....


posted by Guest at 08:39 P.M. EST on Mon Jan 17, 2005     #

"Is that what you do every weekend, jr? Get drunk and play "Halo2" (whatever that is)? Hmmmmm...."

Every weekend? No. I do that every single day. What's so special about the weekend? Only lazy people and the mentally weak wait until the weekend. Remember, rehab is for quitters. Spilling your booze or not finishing your drink is considered alcohol abuse.

posted by jr at 02:06 A.M. EST on Tue Jan 18, 2005     #

Ooooookaaaaay. Guess that means this website probably shouldn't count on any large sponsorship from AA.

At any rate, and back on topic, the President is too busy with Iran invasion plans to visit anywhere, much less this area for the time being. Yessir, Mr. Bush and his old pal "Rummy" are carefully examining all of those "great targets" (as they call them), inside Iran for cruise missle destruction. Iraq was only Bush's first "battlefield" in the Great and Holy American War on Terror. Iran is next. And the rest of those Unholy Kingdoms in the Middle East better watch out, cause they're next, after Iran.

But he will emerge from an M1A1 Abrams tank three months after the "major" fighting is over and tell the world that "one more camel-jockey nation has been liberated into Democracy, Texas style!"

P.S. My son will be 26 (oldest draftable age was 25) soon. Whew!

posted by Chaz at 12:18 P.M. EST on Tue Jan 18, 2005     #

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