Anybody have any favorite jokes that once told everyone in the room goes Boooo!!
Just heard one today - What's young, cute and disgusting? Miley Sinus...
Yeah, I know... (but some of you will boo me today, and tell it tomorrow!!)
Got any more?
Any Groaner fans out there?
Comments ... #
Though you were referring to Lions fans. Sigh yes, I am a Lions fan, share so much in common with the Cubs fans.
posted by Linecrosser on Aug 09, 2008 at 06:35:33 pm #
Thought
posted by Linecrosser on Aug 09, 2008 at 06:35:45 pm #
A banker fell overboard from a friend's sailboat.
The friend grabbed a life preserver, held it up, not knowing if the banker could swim, and shouted, "Can you float alone?"
"Obviously," the banker replied, "but this is a heck of a time to talk business."
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other, "Does this taste funny to you?"
A sloth named Herman is walking through the forest one day.
A gang of snails approach him and beat him up. He is left at the bottom of a tree with several cuts and bruises.
Several hours later he gathers up enough strength to go to a local police station. Herman walks into the Sergeant's office. "What happened to you? the officer asks.
"A gang of snails beat me up," Herman replied.
"Can you describe what they looked like?"
"I don't know," the sloth says. "It all happened so fast."
A farmer walks into his house carrying a sheep and says, "This is the pig I've been cheating on you with!".
His wife, sitting on the couch, says, "That's not a pig.".
Farmer-"I wasn't talking to you."
A penguin is driving down Route 66 when suddenly his car stalls. It happens to crap out right when he gets to a small town. He finds a mechanic down the road and asks him to take a look at his vehicle. The mechanic is happy to oblige, and one quick tow later, the car is in the garage.
"It's gonna take me about a half an hour to an hour before I have your car repaired, so why don't you walk around town?" the mechanic says. The penguin thinks this is a great idea, and starts walking.
In the town, he finds a charming antique shop, some sort of historical site, and an ice cream parlor. The penguin sure is getting hot in the desert heat, what with him usually confined to the polar regions of the planet, so he decided to get some ice cream.
Once he gets his cone of vanilla, he runs into a problem: he doesn't have lips. Without a simple way to get to his cone, he ends up with ice cream AAALLLLL over him. His face, his flippers, his chest, just covered in vanilla gunk.
Dismayed (and with the ice cream parlor out of paper towels), he walks back to the mechanic's garage. When he walks in, he finds the mechanic digging deep under the hood of the car.
"Any idea what's going on, man?"
"Well, Mr. Penguin, it looks like you blew a seal."
"Oh, no no no no no... that's just ice cream."Think about it.... Think about it... THERE YA GO.
posted by TheTalentedMrC on Aug 10, 2008 at 01:37:25 am #
A string goes into a bar and orders a beer.
Bartender says "we dont serve strings here, you'll have to leave."
Dismayed and very thirsty, the string went outside and thought about it for a while, then had an idea. He twisted himself into a granny knot and took one end and frizzed out all the threads into a tangled mess, and went back into the bar and ordered a beer.
The bartender says - "hey, arent you that same piece of string I just kicked out of here?"
The string goes, "Im a frayed knot!"
Two atoms are walking down the mean streets of New York City. Suddenly, one of them panics.
"Ohmigod! I think I lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?"
"I'm positive!"posted by TheTalentedMrC on Aug 10, 2008 at 08:23:54 am #
Doctor says to a patient "You need to stop masturbating."
Patient: "Why?"
Doctor: "Because I'm trying to examine you."
Two guys in Ohio were discussing where is a good place to go on vacation.
First guy: "I like to go to Canada".
Second guy: "Canada? Phooey! There's nothing up there but hookers and hockey players".
First guy: "Wait just a minute, pal- my wife happens to be from Canada"!
Second guy: "Oh yeah? Gee, uhhhh... which hockey team did she play on"?
I used to have a ton of them, but I've seemed to have forgotten them over the years. But here is one of my absolute all-time favorites:
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting Cow.
InterupMOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
posted by TheTalentedMrC on Aug 09, 2008 at 01:39:14 pm #