A A A A Search :
Toledo Talk   (musing about Lake Erie West and beyond)
From ToledoLatina's workspace   

Did he cry wolf?

Today I heard a heavy knock at my door. Expecting my Uncle Glen to be at the door, I was quite taken aback when I saw a 10 year old boy at the end of our enclosed porch. He asked if I had a cell phone. I said No. He asked if I had a home phone. I said Yes. He asked if he could use the phone (tears welling up) so he could call his dad. I said Yes he could. "Are you in trouble?" "NO' Are you lost? "No", Do you need to call the police? "No' he said again. He was so shaken, he had trouble dialing the phone. I dialed and handed it back to him. He sat down on the steps, door closed behind him, crying into the phone telling his dad that he cant be there at home with his mom anymore, he can't take it. She's yelling and abusing him. He looks up at the screen door, I step away and give him privacy. I go in the house and tell my mom whats going on. She steps out on to the porch giving him a Pepsi. He tells my mom he would like to call Children's Services to get away from his mom. My mom comes and tells me to get the number.

I walk outside, sit on the steps and believe that I am about to tell this young boy the best thing to do is call the police and have them contact Children's Services that way. He states that he is afraid that he'll go to jail, as he has been in jail before. His mom had him arrested. I talk to him and tell him this will be the best way and that not all cops are there to arrest you. "If what your saying is the truth about your mom abusing you, then you should have no worries honey."

I dial 911 and tell the operator my name and address and explain about the young man at my door crying. She ask for his name and address. I hand the phone over to him and he mumbles his address five thirty something. She must have asked him if she has beaten him before as I over hear him say "Yes, with a belt last week, Yes, it left bruises" After talking to her he hands the phone over to me. The 911 operator asked me if it is alright for the young man to stay at my house till the police arrive. I said that it would be fine.

I get the boy a chair to sit down with my mom and I while we wait. He started to tell us what happened and other stories about how his mom would yell and hit him because he couldn't fix the computer for her. (a 10 yr old come on now) I ask him his address again. And his name. And then it dawns on me that I babysat this child as a newborn. I know his mother and older brother. She lived below me about 10 years ago. And I know that she has some psychiatric issues and did some crazy things when she lived below us.

One time, she and her bf were fighting, he left and she got in her car and left following him. As I watched this, I noticed she didn't take the baby(not the 10 yr old but his brother) with her. I came down stairs and looked in her windows. there was the baby in the living room. I waited and watched him. Then another neighbor came out and started talking to me about the fight. I told him she left the baby and I was watching him thru the widow. About 10 minutes went by then the baby crawl in to the dining room, almost out of view. The neighbor and I decided we needed to get the baby before something happened. So we tried the door and it was unlocked, Thank God! He went in grabbed the baby. We both saw a white substance on the dining room table and think what could have happened if the baby got hold of that. (I should have called the police then but I didn't) Anyways she returned a half hour later and I told her he was crying so I went in and grabbed him. She snatched him up and went in. And that was that incident. So the moral of the mini story is I have a good idea about her stability.

So back to the little boy. He kept stating how he was frightened of the police and tears would steam down. They were going to arrest him, he was assure of it. My mom and I both told him the police do try to scare young kids straight. They don't want boys to fall in to gangs or drugs. And when they come, we will talk to them to get children services.

So 20 or so minutes pass by and the boy spots the police coming down the street. He sees the officer and crying "oh no its him, he's going to arrest me". Next the police car circles around and parks. The officer on the passenger side steps out yelling "Oh what LIES are you telling now...(name of child)" Then he tells the boy "Get your ASS in the CAR we're taking you home". My mom asks the officer not to talk to him like that, he is just a young boy. "Those are fake tears, he's nothing but a liar". I said "what about his bike" (boy is hysterically crying now) Officer says "Oh that's his bike, well get your ASS on that BIKE and we'll meet you at HOME" YOU better be there when we get THERE" My mom ask the other officer if he can call children services for the boy and he says "No, he is nothing but a trouble maker, him and his brother." And then they go on to tell us they know the family well.

First I am appalled how the police talked to this young boy. I understand they said they know him but still do they have the right to talk to him like that?

Second, he was asking for help, They say they know him, ok I know the family too, does this cancel out his request for help to be taken from a bad situation?

Lastly, I did look up Children's Services online and found the number. I called on behalf of this child and explained everything that happened today. I hope that they will look beyond what the police says and help this boy and his family.

Your thoughts?

created by ToledoLatina on Aug 31, 2008 at 02:20:24 pm     Comments: 4

print      source      versions

Comments ... #

No matter what, that cop was out of line. I would have taken his badge number and called on him as well. A 10 year old is still a 10 year old anyway you slice it.

posted by Ryan on Aug 31, 2008 at 03:29:19 pm     #



You know, it's honestly hard to know what to think. Considering you have had previous "contact" with the boys mother that may have been questionable, it would be difficult to not take the side of the child.

But then you have at least one police officer telling you that this child and his brother are "trouble makers" that they know well. That alone would make it difficult to know what to do.

I think you took the best option possible by calling Children's Services on your own, I would also follow up after the holiday and just try to keep your eyes open to see if you see this kid around your neighborhood again and if you do, be sure to check and see if you think he "looks" like he's OK.

I'd also try to see if you can find out the officers names and speak to a supervisor simply because no matter how much of a trouble maker a kid is, if they are spoken to like that by an authority figure, they will grow up to treat authority figures the same way!

posted by justsimplyholly on Aug 31, 2008 at 04:31:21 pm     #



Sounds like you did the best you could under the circumstances.

I do think that calling Children's Services yourself was the right thing to do under the circumstances - at least so that they can be aware and look into the situation. After all, its possible that the mom has the cops fooled into thinking everything is okay and that everything is the kids fault.

Also agree with Ryan and Holly that the cop was wrong to talk to the child like that. Even if the child is a known troublemaker/prankster, calling him a liar and a police officer telling him to "get his ass home" isn't the appropriate way to handle it.

Additionally...maybe someone (cops or Children's Services) should think about what leads a 10 year old child to make such allegations against his mom. There has to be something going wrong in that household...generally, kids don't make stuff like that up out of thin air. There's at least a kernel of truth to it...which is even more believable based on what you recall from your history with the family!

Someone needs to be on this child's side and figure out what's going on. If he's already a "known troublemaker" to the cops at age 10, there's obviously some problems in the home too.

Very sad story, any way you look at it. Makes you wonder what kind of adult this child will grow up to be, if someone doesn't intervene for him now.

posted by mom2 on Aug 31, 2008 at 08:51:12 pm     #



I don't have much faith in Children's Services. We (my mother and I) had my brother's three boys Friday night, and took them to my other brother's house in Michigan so they could spend time with their cousins. We had a good time, and I took them back to their mother and her boyfriend when the couple got back from a garage sale. Sunday morning I went over to see the boy's father, and take some kitchen stuff. I went to get something to eat, and when I returned I found the three boys at a neighbor's house. Their maternal grandmother had dropped them off at the neighbor's house, and gone away. The boys' mother had taken nine Ambien pills, and then called the police when she realized she might actually die. She had argued with her boyfriend over finances, and decided to deal with the situation this way. We took the boys again that day (my brother has to work at night), and I took them to school that day. I received a call from a neighbor that a fourth son (my nephews' half-brother) was in the house alone with a girl he'd met at the crisis center where he had been sent earlier in the year. I called the boys grandmother to tell her what had happened, and to ask her advice. None was forthcoming. I called Children's Services, and explained the situation. She told me if the boy is not in school call the School Board. If he is supposed to be at the courts for an appearance (parents of another girl don't want him with their daughter) call the court system. If an adult is occasionally in his house (the mother was in the hospital, and her boyfriend is in and out when not at bars) then he has custodial care. If it wasn't for a "busybody" neighbor we wouldn't know what is going on so I thank God for her obtrusiveness. This "boy" might well make another child for us taxpayers to care for because no effort is made to control this. I guess the mother puts up with it because he brings in another $150 a month child support. He hates his mother's licentiousness, and his poverty. But at the same time he has "freedom" he wouldn't have in a more structured home. This is the third time this mother has made what seems to be suicide "attempts" (though my brother, her former husband, believes she likes the care and attention she receives in the hospital after an attempt). Unfortunately, the "system" continues to allow her to have the children 12 hours of each day, and every other weekend.

posted by oldsendbrdy on Sep 02, 2008 at 10:55:34 pm     #